DEATH IS EASY by Russell Madden

FREEDOM,  As If It Mattered by Russell Madden

The Guardian Project by Russell Madden

RaNdoM by Russell Madden

 

I know you all were very worried about the problem. Sleepless nights, acid indigestion, and heart palpitations no doubt assailed you whenever stray thoughts drifted into your consciousness concerning this crisis.

Rest assured. With all due respect to a far better mouse, I am here to report that Senator Carl Levin (Democrat, Michigan) is coming to save the day and is on the way to protect us all from a terrible scourge threatening the very fabric of our society.

Oh? You're blissfully ignorant of any such dire straits confronting us that might be of concern to the U.S. Senate Permanent Subcommittee on Investigations? You slacker, you. Surely, "cheaters" and "exploiters" must be brought to justice. "Loopholes" must be closed. Worst of all (gasp), these miscreants may be...wait for it...unpatriotic.

No!

What, you ask, is this shocking situation that must be corrected?

Companies are trying to reduce their level of taxation.

Sit down if you must. Wait for the dizziness and the horror to subside.

Yes. A number of corporations -- you know, evil Big Business -- actually think "it's worth the risk to keep hundreds of millions of dollars out of the U.S. government's pockets." (Thanks to NBC News for the quote and for alerting us to this appalling development.)

How dare those companies? Don't they realize that forking over significant portions of their money to the State is the very essence of being good citizens?

 For example, "equipment maker Ingersoll-Rand saved $40 million last year, Tyco International...$400 million, and Stanley Tools...$30 million..." Why, I bet those nasty companies will just squander that money by using it to improve their businesses or pay dividends to their investors. Far better for the State to gather those funds into its embracing arms and redistribute it to millionaire basketball players who farm, for propping up the steel industry, and for building tacky museums to such great Americans as Liberace.

I know you want to rise up and shout, "No more! Yes, Senator Levin! Save us! Please! Please! Don't let those horrible companies exploit us by not paying every last cent in taxes you can possibly squeeze from them."

How are these traitors committing such heinous acts? Without regard for welfare moms or new memorial highways, these companies are engaged in "offshore incorporation"; ghastly exhibitions of pure greed that take advantage of a legal exemption that "has always been there."

(Shudder.)

By golly, our dedicated public servants are johnny-on-the-spot to prohibit and prevent such lawful behavior. Democrat Representative Richard Neal from that oasis of freedom, Taxachu--, er, Massachusetts, is "rallying" with his Senate colleague, Levin, to halt this sad practice. No more shall corporations be permitted to use the last remnants of freedom, er, loopholes overlooked in earlier attempts to "protect" our interests.

According to our stalwart politicians, exotic locales such as Bermuda and the Cayman Islands must be purged as conduits for that blackest of sins: tax evasion.

Not only are these offshore banks blindly turning their gaze from such transgressions, they are, like whores, allowing themselves to be fronts for "money laundering." You know. When those drug dealers -- grown rich from State prohibition of their products -- want to keep their silent partner and benefactor from receiving its cut of the profits.

(How dare they!)

Yes, some money laundering is done for those who truly violate rights via fraud, but, hey, that's chump change compared to the billions flowing from the drug users to drug suppliers. According to Senator Levin, the State "loses" nearly $70 billion in taxes from "illegal" tax evasion. Levin is desperate, because he knows that "somehow" the State must "make up" that lost "revenue." (Don'tcha just love how politicians thrive on euphemisms that mask the truth?)

Where, oh where, you ask, can the State go to recoup "its" losses? You, of course -- all of you (and you know who you are...). I know the politicians just hate "asking" you for more "revenue," but, gee, what's a bleeding-heart collectivist supposed to do? After all, it's the corporations' fault. If they'd just pony up what they owe the State, you wouldn't have to fork over more "revenue."

How is it possible that such dastardly deeds go uncorrected? Banking privacy laws, of course. Without such "loopholes," our tender senators and representatives could right these wrongs ASAP. No one should object, either, by golly. After all, we now know by heart the mantra to answer any daring critics: if you haven't done anything wrong, you have nothing to worry about. Only those lawbreakers with something to hide need fear the loss of a mere bauble like banking privacy. You know. Like terrorists. You're not one of those, are you? Eh? Eh?

According to a press release from Senator Levin, U.S. banks are not facing up to their responsibilities. Because of their "inattention and disinterest" in investigating just who their customers are, "rogue foreign banks" and "criminal clients" "benefit" from "taxpayers...spending hundreds of millions of dollars" to "protect the U.S. banking system and to fight money laundering."

Funny. No one asked me if I wanted to "fight money laundering." I never received a request from the banks, either, asking me to protect them. Perhaps, though, their letter was lost in the mail.

According to Levin's insightful analysis, "virtually every U.S. bank" consorted with "offshore banks," banks in "suspect jurisdictions," and, oh, no!, even "shell banks," banks with no physical existence. He chastised these miscreants for not "paying attention" and not preventing "misuse" of accounts. And, of course, banks are supposed to act as an arm of law enforcement. Aren't they?

Not only is drug money flowing through the cracks, but "illegal gambling operations on the Internet" are also involved in this tragedy.

(Lessee... I'm looking in the Constitution for precisely where Congress is delegated the power to regulate gambling or the Internet. Well. Shoot. I can't seem to find it right off the bat. But I'm sure it must be in there. Somewhere. I just know such an upright citizen and humble public servant as Senator Levin would never think of engaging in unconstitutional, i.e., illegal, behavior.)

Senator Levin would outlaw U.S. banks from accepting transactions from shell banks; would require them to "use enhanced due diligence" as lackeys of the Treasury Department in policing accounts with foreign banks; would have them "systematically review" accounts to eliminate "problem" banks; would make them learn who the clients are of other banks; and ensure that regulators and the cops "offer improved assistance" in clamping down on the financial shenanigans of these ne'er-do-wells.

No more "dirty money." That'll make everything all right. Yes. Money that the State cannot dig its claws into. The root of all evil. As long as the State knows all the intimate details of each and every banking client for each and every financial transaction he makes, then we will enjoy the "Golden Age" of banking and liberty.

Levin tells us that "private banking" in which the bank's "primary goal" is to "service" a client (as opposed to the State?) must be tightly controlled. To service a client means to apply "the tools of money laundering -- secret trusts, offshore accounts, secret name accounts, and shell companies called private investment corporations" or PICs.

Just makes your blood boil, doesn't it, to think that some customers would dare -- would dare! -- think they have a right to a whit of privacy in how they manage their financial resources.

PICs are "designed for the purpose of holding -- and hiding -- one person's assets." They are evil because "in the end [they] can become impenetrable to a legal process." PICs "specialize in secrecy" and "encourage" it if not requested by the client. Secret codes and avoidance of U.S. records are other evidence of the perversions practiced by PICs. When "American banks aren't allowed to maintain secret accounts in the United States," there can be no justification (can there?) for such sidestepping acts as maintaining secret corporations.

To be fair, Levin does say that, "No one is suggesting that private banking is an improper banking activity," just that it should be managed in an "honorable" way...as defined and enforced by the State, of course. For Levin, to be "honorable" means knowing who your clients are and how they accumulated their money. In other words, the "honorable" way to conduct "private" banking is to ensure that there is no privacy.

(Ignore that man behind the curtain! I am the great and powerful...)

After all, if you haven't done anything wrong, you've nothing to fear. Right? Right?

Yeah. Right.

In a world in which legalized theft is touted as the essence of morality; in which full disclosure equals privacy; in which the last vestiges of freedom are sneeringly characterized as "loopholes"; and in which those who legally seek to hold onto their money are branded "cheaters" and "exploiters," each individual must decide for himself the proper course to take in this realm.

As economist and professor Walter Williams has stated, no one is under any obligation to obey an immoral law...though you must be prepared to suffer the consequences if the State catches you in your illicit though moral behavior.

I, for one, have always promoted and celebrated morality. For those who decide to "do the right thing," my only comment is:

More power to you. Whoever you are.