Demi-Ogg and Republi-Ogg stood over the bound and gagged body of Citiz-Ogg.
Demi-Ogg rubbed his callused hands together and smiled. “Great!
Mealtime. I’m starving. We’ll take the arms and legs and the torso and
roast them over a big fire. That will fix our hunger for good.”
Republi-Ogg blinked and raised a finger in protest. “No! No! If you use
up that much of Citiz-Ogg, all that will be left will be the head.”
Demi-Ogg shrugged. “So? Not much sustenance to be had there, anyway.
We’ll solve our problem of aching stomachs and everyone will be better
off. We can’t wait until we all keel over from lack of nutrition. It’ll
be too late then. We must act now, immediately, without delay!
Otherwise, we’ll be overwhelmed by this catastrophic food shortage.”
Republi-Ogg winced. “That’s too extreme. We should be moderate in what
we do here. Take one arm today. Maybe another tomorrow. Next week we
can work on a leg. After that, perhaps the other leg. With prudence, we
won’t squander our resources but preserve them for as long as possible.”
Demi-Ogg raised his knotted club. “I say no! We’ll do it my way. I let
you have your say, but this is urgent! An emergency! What will others
think if we spend days or weeks arguing about this. What are you
complaining about, anyway?
Food is for eating! Don’t be so
stupid and obstructionistic. That’s what we’ve got Citiz-Og for, in the
first place! Trust me. This is the best way to solve our problem.”
Republi-Ogg shook his head. “Unh-unh,” he said, thinning his lips. “You
pretend to listen to me, but you’ll just do what you want, anyway,
because you have the bigger gang.”
Demi-Ogg pointed behind Republi-Ogg. “At least three of your gang
agrees with me. See? They’re nodding and smiling.” Demi-Ogg frowned at
the furrowed brow of his opponent. “Okay, okay. In the spirit of
cooperation and bipartisanship, rather than taking both arms, we’ll
leave the right arm above the elbow for now. Happy?”
Republi-Ogg snorted his displeasure. “Not really. But I don’t see that
I have much choice in the matter.” He stared at Citiz-Ogg for a long
moment. “Fine. Have it your way. Let’s just get this over with.”
As Republi-Ogg held down Citiz-Ogg’s right leg, Demi-Ogg pulled out his
flint knife and began sawing away at Citiz-Ogg’s flesh and bone.
Luckily, Citiz-Ogg was tightly gagged, so no one had to listen to his traitorous protests.
(from
Don't Get Me Started!, x-09)
