Death Is Easy

Russell Madden

Freedom As If It Mattered

As If
It Mattered
Russell Madden

Guardian Project

The Guardian
Russell Madden


Russell Madden





Russell Madden



Okay. Let me see if I understand this correctly:

  1. Through a combination of governmental coercion, individual corruption, and institutional incompetence, a bunch of banks got into trouble. As the housing market deflated, these financial gurus found themselves saddled with bad mortgages and, in tandem, rising credit card defaults as money and employment problems mounted.
  2. Through a combination of even more governmental coercion, individuals lacking a moral backbone, and institutional panic, many of these banks glommed onto tens of billions of dollars of taxpayer money (either through direct taxation, borrowed cash, or government-counterfeited dollars). These funds were supposed to keep these suckers afloat because they were “too big to fail.” (Why the latter? Who the frak knows?)
  3. Through a combination of yet more governmental interference, gutless individuals, and institutional insanity, many of these banks jacked up credit card rates to astronomical levels, even on (or especially on?) their best and most reliable customers. (See my blog entry “Capital One All Hassles Card" for more on the this topic.)
  4. The banks’ lame-ass reasoning for these jumps of 400-500%? Well, you see, it’s like this: we (the banks) received all this stolen loot bailout money. Our credit card profits are in the toilet. We need to have people who already pay their bills on time and meet their obligations also pay for all those deadbeats or unfortunates who are missing their credit card payments or discharging their credit card balances via bankruptcy. (After all, that’s the American way these days: reward failure.) This way, we’ll be able to see some profits. Then we’ll be in a position to repay with interest that money we got from the government. So in the end, the taxpayers will actually be making money on this wonderful deal.


Okay-okay. I think I got it. One more time:

  1. Accept money stolen from the taxpayers.
  2. Charge the taxpayers more money (up the yin-yang) in credit card interest and fees to pay for our losses.
  3. Then (someday) we’ll repay the government the money they stole for us from the taxpayers.
  4. The government will use that repaid money we got from the taxpayers who bailed us out to give to even more freeloaders like us.
Voilà! The taxpayer wins.

See? Simple.

You win.

(from Don't Get Me Started!, 4-23-09)