I, Russell Madden, Citizen of the United States
of America, do hereby proclaim and declare that hereafter, on the first
day of January in the year of our Lord, two thousand and ten, all
persons held as slaves in whole or in part within any Nation, or
designated part of a Nation, the people whereof shall then be in
rebellion against the Principles of Freedom shall be then,
thenceforward, and forever free; and the executive power of this
citizen of the United States, including the authority thereof, will
recognize and maintain the freedom of such persons, and will do no act
or acts to repress such persons, or any or them, in any efforts they
may make for their actual freedom.
That this citizen will, on the first day of January aforesaid, by
proclamation, designate the Nations, and parts of Nations, if any, in
which people thereof respectively, shall then be in rebellion against
the Principles of Freedom. And be it further proclaimed, That all
slaves in whole or in part of persons who shall hereafter be engaged in
rebellion against the Principles of Freedom, or who shall in any way
give aid or comfort thereto, escaping from such persons and taking
refuge; and all slaves in whole or in part captured from such persons
or deserted by them; and all slaves in whole or in part of such persons
found on (or) being within any place occupied by another Nation’s
forces, shall be deemed free, and shall be forever free of their
servitude and not again held as slaves in whole or in part.
And be it further declared, That no slave in whole or in part escaping
into any Place, shall be delivered up, or in any way impeded or
hindered of his liberty, except for crime, or some offense against the
laws; and no person on his own may assume to decide on the validity of
the claim of any person to the service or labor of any other person, or
surrender up any such person to the claimant, on pain of being
And I do hereby enjoin upon and order all persons in all Nations to
observe, obey, and enforce, within their respective spheres of service,
the proclamation, and sections above recited.
In witness whereof, I have hereunto set my hand, and caused the seal of...
...What? What do you mean, I have no authority to do this? I’m freeing
people all over the globe... Say what? I have no control over those
Nations? So? Lincoln had no power over Confederate states, either, and
he... Oh, come on! I’m not exempting the “free” states in the United
States from freeing slaves like Lincoln did... “Meaningless posturing”!
“Propaganda”?!? Hey! Come on! You should praise me the way everyone
praises Lincoln! Give me the credit! I’ve got good intentions. Who
cares if this accomplishes nothing? I said it. Isn’t that enough?!?
(from Don't Get Me Started!